Okay, this is going to sound insane, but I swear I’m not making this up.
We have a printer in our staffing branch that only prints when I compliment it. If I just hit print like a normal person? Nothing. No error message, no paper jam, just… silence. But the moment I say something like, “Wow, you’re looking great today, what a reliable piece of technology,” boom—prints perfectly.
I thought I was losing my mind, so I had my coworker try, and it ignored her completely. Then she begrudgingly said, “Uh… please work, I guess?” and it immediately spit out her documents.
Is this some kind of hidden voice activation feature? A weird firmware bug? Have we accidentally hired a sentient printer? More importantly—how do I fix this before IT thinks I’ve lost it?
Please help. I can’t keep whispering sweet nothings to office equipment.
Ah, printers. Let me tell you, I have zero clue how they work. I’ve had a printer in my office for 3 years, and every time it jams, I just hit the power button like it’s some kind of magic reset. Spoiler: it never works. I once tried to “fix” a printer by googling it and learned more about printer ink costs than the actual printer itself.
Last time I had to print something important, I spent 15 minutes trying to get the thing to “connect to Wi-Fi” only to realize it wasn’t even on. My printer’s like the Bermuda Triangle of tech. I’ll swear I’ve set it up perfectly, and 10 minutes later, it’s just a blinking light and a paper trail of frustration.
So my printer advice? If it works, it’s a miracle. If it doesn’t, just unplug it, walk away, and hope it somehow fixes itself.
Good luck, you’re on your own. I’ll be over here pretending my printer doesn’t exist until I need it again in six months.
Ah yes, the classic case of a needy printer. Congratulations, you’ve unlocked its secret ego mode. Some printers demand toner, others crave paper, but yours? It just wants validation.
Possible explanations:
Firmware glitch – Maybe the manufacturer coded self-worth into this model?
Static buildup or power issue – But hey, if flattery fixes it, who are we to judge?
Ghost of a former IT tech – Maybe they stuck around to make sure someone finally appreciates office equipment.
Solutions:
Try resetting the printer in settings (but be gentle, don’t hurt its feelings).
Check for firmware updates—maybe it’ll grow out of this phase.
Or just accept your fate and continue buttering it up. Honestly, if all it takes is an ego boost to function, it’s still more cooperative than most office technology.
In the meantime, let us know if it starts demanding sacrifices or unionizing with the fax machine. 😅
Best way to address this is through a re-enactment of the copier scene from the movie The Office.
Just sayin…Damn it feels good to be a gansta!